The Weeknd’s so-called cousin wants to date you

This Craigslist ad is thirsty AF.

September 7, 2017

Ever wanted to meet The Weeknd?

Us, too. But unfortunately, unless you hung out around downtown Toronto American Apparels around 2010—where he worked, and blasted his mixtapes before becoming befriending Drake and consequently releasing several mega-hits—you’re probably out of luck. Abel Tesfaye is now Starboy, and he’s, well, a star.

Which leads us to the next question: How desperate are you to meet The Weeknd?

If the answer is “absolutely nuclear-grade thirsty,” then try checking Craigslist, where a mysterious ad is offering a close-proximity party with the “Party Monster” himself. There, someone claiming to be his cousin—his 6’1″, 185-pound, 21-year-old cousin—is offering up a VIP spot to a party at the singer’s alleged Ritz Carlton residence. Could electronic producer Shlomo be behind the ad? Could it some dude named Yonatan?

Here’s the ad, which, for COMPLETE AND TOTAL LIABILITY PURPOSES YOU’RE WELCOME LEGAL DEPARTMENT we do not, in any way, shape or form, endorse.

The posting, cool people of Craigslist, doesn’t list much detail—aside from one key fact: The notion that The Weeknd lives at the Toronto Ritz-Carlton, located on Wellington Street in downtown Toronto. The location is curious: In 2014, Internet sleuths speculated that he lived at the Ritz-Carlton, or at least one its adjacent buildings. The timing would seem right, too, as the XO honcho is kicking off a Starboy world tour this Saturday, Sept. 9, in Toronto—and that’s a cause for celebration.

And even better? It’s been speculated that his old friend Drake, who posted shots on his new condo on an Instagram story,  also lives in a Ritz-Carlton penthouse. And people seem convinced that The Boy’s paying $20,000 monthly rent at the hotel.

So, would you take up The Weeknd’s alleged cousin on this offer? We don’t recommend it.

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