Turns out Daniel Radcliffe is actually a pretty good rapper

October 29, 2014

Around the time of Blazing Arrow, Blackalicious rapper Gift of Gab was revered, almost mythologized, by backpacking hip-hoppers for his prowess on the mic. Songs like “Chemical Calisthenics” and “Alphabet Aerobics” were mind-blowing exercises in lyricism. One took listeners through a range of scientific principles, from the periodic table to the basics of combustion.

The other was rapped, excellently, by Daniel Radcliffe last night on Jimmy Fallon’s Tonight Show.

Does he sound as cool as Gab name dropping Don Dada? Nah. But that doesn’t change the fact that a guy not known as a rapper by any stretch just totally nailed one of the genre’s toughest routines.

Here’s the song’s lyrics, and original, in full:

Artificial amateurs, aren’t at all amazing
Analytically, I assault, animate things
Broken barriers bounded by the bomb beat
Buildings are broken, basically I’m bombarding
Casually create catastrophes, casualties
Canceling cats, got their canopies collapsing
Detonate a dime of dank daily doin’ dough
Demonstrations, Don Dada on the down low
Eating other editors with each and every energetic epileptic episode
Elevated etiquette
Furious, fat, fabulous, fantastic
Flurries of funk fell, feeding the fanatics
Gift got great, global goods gone glorious
Gettin godly in this game with the goriest
Hit em high, hella height, historical
Hey holocaust hints, hear ’em holler at your homeboy
Imitators idolize, I intimidate
In an instant, I’ll rise in an irate state
Juiced on my jams like Jheri curls jocking joints
Justly, it’s just me, writing my journals
Kindly I’m kindling all kinds of ink on
Karate kick type Brits in my kingdom
Let me live a long life, lyrically lessons is
Learned lame louses just lose to my livery
My mind makes marvelous movies, masses
Marvel and move, many mock what I’ve mastered
Niggas nap knowing I’m nice, naturally
Knack, never lack, make noise nationally
Operation, opposition, off, not optional
Out of sight, out of mind, wide beaming opticals
Perfected poem, powerful punchlines
Pummeling petty powder puffs in my prime
Quite quaint quotes keep quiet it’s Quannum
Quarrelers ain’t got a quarter of what we got, uh
Really raw raps, risin up rapidly
Riding the rushing radioactivity
Super scientifical sound search sought
Silencing super fire saps that are soft
Tales ten times talented, too tough
Take that, challengers, get a tune up
Universal, unique, untouched
Unadulterated, the raw uncut
Verb vice lord victorious valid
Violate vibes that are vain make em vanish
Why in my world would a wise wordsmith just
Weaving up words, weeded up on my workshift
Xerox my X-radiation holes extra large
X-height letters and xylophone tones
Yellow-back, yak mouth, young ones’ yaws
Yesterday’s lawn yardsale, I yawn
Zig-Zag zombies, zooming to the zenith
Zero in, zen thoughts, overzealous rhyme ZEA-LOTS!….

This reminds us of another rapping actor, not just because of Radcliffe’s proficiency on the mic but because his fascination with the genre started with Enimen. Chris Pratt, you might remember, expertly rapped “Forgot About Dre” earlier this year.

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